Los terror babies del norte

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If all this talk about “anchor” and “terror” babies continues, I sure hope my baby boy and his future group of diverse little friends start a punk rock band called Los Terror Babies del Norte. They’ll wreak havoc all over the state playing their special brand of mariachi-tinged speed metal and indie-rock corridos about diaper changes gone bad, headless zombies and drug mules – all while taking swigs of spiked baby formula.

OK, so that last bit was a play on the insanity being spewed by our unelected governor – the (ahem) honorable Jan Brewer.

Leave it to Arizona and only Arizona to initiate a challenge to the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, specifically the first part that reads, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.”

And leave it to the GOP to not only jump on the anti-immigrant bandwagon set in motion by our local one-trick-pony politicians, but to take it a step further and claim that babies are being “dropped,” just like foals in a barn somewhere, for the sole purpose of being able to return later to terrorize America.

GOPers need to realize that, according to Democracia U.S.A. (www.democraciausa.org), half a million voting-eligible, Latinos will turn 18 every year for the next 20 years.

When I think about how these youngsters will feel about attempts to strip future generations of kids just like them of their birthright citizenship, I’m reminded of an old McDonald’s commercial. In it, a nearly defeated boxer, on his last leg, is being cajoled back in the ring by his trainer.

The trainer brings him back to his youth in an instant by reminding him of the time someone stole his fries at his 6th birthday party. He snaps him into action by looking him straight in the eye and saying, “It was him!” as he points to the unsuspecting opponent. Newly invigorated, the boxer rises to his feet, approaches his enemy and the lights go out. You get the picture.

This sentiment is sure to emerge in years to come when these youngsters learn of the S.B. 1070 era and the challenges to birthright citizenship.

They’re going to learn about the past and they’ll wonder what Arizona was like circa 2010. “How could they let that happen, Dad?”

When they get to be 16 and 17 years old, a lot of these kids probably will start punk bands and questioning authority along the way.

More importantly, and what is being missed by those who wish to vilify them, is that they will have become Americans by experience, not just by birth. And when they turn 18, they’re very likely going to vote because they’ve been given the greatest motivation of all.

They may be tiny babies now, but they’ll have plenty of stories to listen to. And I’ve got a great ole’ rocking chair.

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