A Pocho resolve
First, let me begin by vowing that this year, I will take down the Christmas decorations before Easter Sunday. Following are just a few of the things I hope to do in 2009. I’ve broken them down in categories for you. Here’s hoping they don’t break me.
More lite and healthy, less heavy and tasty: Yes, I know heavy wins but I can’t get any fatter and still be able to dribble the ball up and down the court at the Y. So, I resolve to shop at AJ’s once for every three times I splurge at Food City. Picking up sushi and sprouts and other foreign things should keep Eddie Basha happy and the guys at the Y from killing me. They’re nice guys but they’re mean. In a nice way. But still mean. Maybe I can substitute edamame for Doritos if I have the strength. No, I will have the strength to stop eating these triangles de Bermuda! I don’t know about you but I get lost in them.
Corn vs. flour: Lalo Guerrero once lamented in song that there were no more tortillas for his “refrieds,” and I feel his pain. For health reasons, I resolve to continue to savor these delicious discs but only the corn ones. Sorry Carolina’s, but I must forego your thin flour delights, yes, los de harina have to go. I don’t care if you smother them with butter, it’s corn for this forlorn tortilla lover.
Clothes: I resolve to wear clothes that fit (this applies, ahem, to the ladies as well). You know who I’m talking about. I will wear guayaberas only when I’m cutting someone’s hair. Just kidding. These I keep.
TV: A few years ago I mastered the TiVo, this past year it became my master. I will delete programs older than a month because I’m probably never going to watch them anyway. It’s like a digital version of hoarding the Sunday Times for weeks and weeks. Goodbye Jon Stewart, I’ll miss you (at least your old shows).
Playing well with others
Watching TV: If it’s a show I’ve already seen, I will promise to stop saying, “Oh, you’re going to love this part,” or “Wait until you see what happens next.” That’s gonna be hard.
Returning shopping carts: It’s something I started already and it’s good exercise. Plus, my car never gets keyed. Also, it never hurts to learn a new trade. Not that it’s a trade but you know what I mean.
Yard work and general chores: I will do them and not get mad if when I’m watering the front lawn someone driving by stops and yells at me in their native yet somehow broken English: “Excuse me, excuse me senor! How much for you do that my yard?” Uh, I live here. So there it goes, wish me luck.