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Lesbian liberal vampires and jihad against Arizona?

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State Rep. Pearce: Since I have been reading everywhere, and I mean e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e, that you said President Obama is waging a jihad against Arizona, I want to ask you if this is true. A holy war? Holy cow …

Are you serious, de verdad ? Where have I been all this time? I hadn’t noticed the president was engaged in a jihad. I know you don’t like him, but a holy war? That’s in a completely different category. You recently said at a Tea Party event that the Obama administration’s mention of S.B. 1070 in a report to the UN Human Rights Council goes “beyond malfeasance of office.” Then you add, “Who would have thought we would have a president who would side with a foreign government against Arizona?”

Um, let me see. Are you trying to imply the president is not American? Or that his loyalties are elsewhere … as in a foreign nation? Mr. Pearce, you are starting to sound a lot like Anne Coulter. But maybe that’s what you are aiming for. I don’t know why I’m surprised since you were a primary sponsor of S.B. 1158, aka the “Birther” bill, which calls for presidential candidates to prove their citizenship.

Oh, my. Then, in your letter asking patriots to support the organization Ban Amnesty Now, you claim, “For once, we have the open-borders, pro-amnesty liberals on the run! But from the White House to the Congress, to amnesty groups like La Raza to the Washington Establishment lobbyists, they will all do and say anything to pass amnesty.” Ahem, say again? Aren’t you doing the exact same thing to push your agenda?

On your newly redesigned website, you shed some light on what propels your fears, but I’m not sure what you say is true: “We have already lost our language; everything must be printed in Spanish. We have already lost our history, since it is no longer taught in our schools.” And my favorite part: “Maybe it is too late to save America. Maybe we are not worthy of freedom anymore.” You should consider having Carmina Burana automatically play every time someone visits your website. It will put your supporters in the right mood.

I also read you called Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon “an anarchist.” Too funny. Did you mean to say Antichrist? Maybe you’ve been watching too much Billy Bob Neck. You know, the “patriot” who claims that Rachel Maddow is a lesbian vampire trying to brainwash America with her radical ideology? Billy Bob backs your idea to deny citizenship to the U.S.-born offspring of undocumented aliens.

Billy Bob thinks Obama’s plan is to fight for these U.S.-born babies to have citizenship so they can grow up liberals and vote for Obama and make him King, just like Sadam Hussein. He hasn’t said the president is waging a holy war against Arizona, but he does call him Barrack Obohomobinladen. You may want to friend him on facebook or visit his patriotic site, www.billybobneck.com.

One more similarity between you and Billy Bob: You are both genius marketers. Keep up the fear mongering. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to review the consequences of your actions when you arrive in heaven.

Last, but not least, I know you’ll be participating in a Ban Amnesty Now “tele-town hall” where people can pay $15 to call in and hear what you have to say. That’s brilliant. You could easily up the price to $30 and add “Help me help Jesus help you,” like Billy Bob Neck does to request donations.

That’s all, Mr. Senator.

Vaya con Dios.

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