Gluteus Ad Maximus?

Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size Text Size Print This Page

Mr. Benito? Hello.

I guess you and your colleagues assume that when men look at a woman’s glutes, they start to salivate. And I’m also guessing you think that Colonel Sanders looks great stamped on the derrieres of female college students. Personally, I find the concept of an image of the old white-haired man with glasses and a goatee on the behinds of young women a bit creepy, but perhaps this is your idea of brand placement. Considering that KFC is celebrating the 120th anniversary of the colonel’s birth, I find the whole thing even more problematic as I can’t help but picture the centenarian’s reaction to the media blitz if he were alive.

I understand KFC paid college ambassadors $500 to play temptresses and distribute coupons while donning branded white t-shirts and red sweatpants promoting the most recent menu item, the Double Down bun-less sandwich, which features “two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese” and, of course, the “Colonel’s Sauce.” How tasteful.

Your marketing and PR team must be having a lot of fun, and must be very happy with the flow of your creative juices, as evidenced by the sale of over 100 million sandwiches and the self-congratulatory media release posted on “Gluteus Ad Maximus: KFC Places Double Down Ads on the Backsides of Sweatpants Worn By College Co-eds. Kentucky-Fried Chicken Enlists Female Undergrads as ‘Human Billboards’ to Tempt Fellow Students with Advertising for KFC’s First-Ever Bun-less Sandwich.” I’ll give you credit for not disguising the antics.

While I object to your method, at least I appreciate that the temptresses/ambassadors are paid for their “work” as opposed to those who dish out good money for apparel displaying messages across their buttocks.

As an aside, I have an issue with women who buy a certain couture brand and walk around with the word “juicy” on their butts. But hey, it’s a free country, and we can all do with our butts as we please, right?

Back to the bun-less Double Down ad campaign. My viejo thinks I’m overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing.

Before you agree with him, tell me: Would you rent your crotch to advertise, say, turkey wieners? Or how about yolkless eggs?

I wonder what the Colonel would do?

You must be logged in to post a comment Login