Robrt L. Pela

Wardrobe malfunction

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It’s every teenaged boy’s dream: a dress that becomes transparent when someone else looks at it.

Perhaps in response to the still-popular fad of speed dating, a Dutch design group has just released a new line of dresses that go translucent in response to the wearer’s heart rate. The more excited you get while wearing one of these frocks, the more of you everyone else gets to see.

You won’t find these gowns at Dillard’s.

Available in white or black, the Intimacy 2.0 is a futuristic haute couture frock made of leather and something called “smart e-foils,” which cause the dress fabric to become see-through in response to man-made electric current.

“Social interactions determine the garment’s level of transparency,” according to an official release from the dress’s inventor, “creating a sensual play of disclosure.” In other words, the heck with batting your eyes at a cute guy across the room! Allow yourself to get all hot and bothered, and show him what’s in store for him if only he’d head your way. (Presumably the company is busily inventing invisible compression garments, as well – because who wants their dress to vanish, only to reveal two pairs of Spanx beneath?)

Unveiled recently by Dutch fashion design firm, Studio Roosegaarde, the transparent dress sounds like an elaborate joke. But, apparently it’s for real, and perfect for women who can’t be bothered with telling a guy they’re not interested in him and want clothing that relays the message by not vanishing.

Studio Roosegaarde’s initial design for Intimacy 2.0 features a plunging neckline with e-foil pads protruding from the shoulders. Perhaps, aware that not every gal seeking a vanishing dress also wants to look like Judy Jetson, the designers have invited haute couture fashionistas to submit designs of their own.

Thus far, the company has not solicited a sane reason for wearing a dress that vanishes when your heart goes pitty-pat.

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