Robrt L. Pela

Twin-D City

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Brittany Wilkerson of Twin Peaks-San Francisco, winner of Miss Twin Peaks 2011

Just as the New Year’s hangovers of sports bar denizens were beginning to mellow, things got really creepy. Twin Peaks, a chain of cheeseball restaurants catering to game-watching draft lifters, announced its search for “Scottsdale’s perkiest girls” to staff its just-opened east valley location.

In a too-good-to-be-made-up ad campaign featuring a buxom Amazon dressed in Daisy Duke shorts and plunging plaid halter, Twin Peaks offered an official  “casting call” for “the best job in town in town,” presumably because saying so twice makes it doubly good. Perks offered to those who make the final cuts for this low-glam waitressing gig include “corporate tanning,” “cool employee contests to win shopping sprees” and “the ability to wear a cute ‘lumber-Jill’ outfit to work everyday (sic).”

“Lumber-Jills” reportedly lined up at the new suds-and-burger joint’s Frank Lloyd Wright Boulevard location for a chance to serve what the chain’s corporate press release calls “crave-able and high quality comfort food,” surrounded by 64 high-definition plasma televisions and with high hopes for “starring in the national 2013 Twin Peaks Calendar.”

The campaign follows an equally cheesy release from late last summer in which the restaurant, located at the former Earl’s Diner location, advertised for a manager interested in recruiting and training “the most effective weapons of mass distraction—the Twin Peaks Girls.” In ads for what industry insiders refer to as “a breastaurant,” these gals were asked to “dress to impress for Friday’s casting call and bring their big, bubbly personalities. No experience is required.”

We don’t doubt that last part for a minute.

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