Robrt L. Pela

Stache this in your pipe and smoke it

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It sounds like an overworked Monty Python sketch, but, in fact, it’s a real thing: the International Mustache Film Festival (IMFF) is coming to town.

Well, to Portland, Maine, anyhow. Billed as “the world’s first mustache-centric film festival,” the event is open to movie-makers far and wide who’ve been invited to submit short films of eight minutes or less to be viewed and judged at the festival. The cineaste whose film has the hairiest upper lip will be awarded a cash prize. Presented on March 30, in conjunction with New England’s largest mustache pageant (the fifth annual Stache Pag), the festival’s categories will include Best Foreign Mustache Film, Best Growth Story, Best Collection of Mustaches in One Film, and Best Fake Mustache Movie.

No, really. Hosted by Dr. Lou Jacobs, director of the New England Bureau of the American Mustache Institute, the festival is on the up-and-up. “This is an important moment in mustache history,” Jacobs says, with absolutely no irony whatsoever. “Never has there been a film festival dedicated to the unique art of filming the mustached male (or female). The American Mustache Institute would like to congratulate the IMFF for its efforts to preserve the mustached arts.”

Jacobs’ organization, which claims to have been “protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, mustached Americans, by promoting the growth, care and culture of the moustache,” is strictly nonprofit, and the furry film festival will turn over any profits to the Northeast Historic Film Society, as well as to something called Mystache Fights Cancer.

Tom Selleck was unavailable for comment.  

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