Latino Perspectives Magazine » Latina Still Standing

The compassion of Eddie Basha

latinopm — Wed, 08 May 2013 02:57:36 +0000

By Diana Bejarano

I am a Latina Still Standing, but not of my own accord. I stand tall today because of my faith, family and friends – one of whom has just been laid to rest.

Nine years ago, I became friends with a man named Eddie Basha. He was godsend to me during one of the most difficult periods of my life.

My older sister, 40 years old at the time, had a surgery and she nearly died from subsequent complications. What should have been a simple medical procedure turned into the worst nightmare for my sister; she was in a coma for several months and her prognosis wasn’t good. While she was in intensive care, I had started a new job as the communication and public affairs director for Basha’s, Inc., and had met with each of the senior leadership team, which included Basha family members and the CEO, Eddie Basha.

I told them about my sister because her situation was weighing on me so much. Eddie made special trips regularly to my office to ask how my sister was doing; we even prayed a couple times. Less than two months into the job, I was called away from planning a big conference for our store managers and directors and rushed to the hospital to sign for acute dialysis when I was told that my sister’s kidneys were failing. While I was waiting in the lobby to see if my sister was going to make it, I received a phone call from someone asking me where I was. I informed them that I was in the lobby of the hospital. I was told to stay there.

I saw a friend of my father’s walk in with a DPS officer and they asked me to sit down. They told me my father was just killed on the I-17 in Phoenix. Much of what happened after that moment is still a blur to me, but at some point I had to call my job and let them know what had happened, and that I would need to take some time off. I didn’t know what they would say, considering I had been on the job less than two months. With no hesitation, I was told to take as much time as was needed and that they were all praying for me.

While I was off, Eddie’s office informed me that he wanted to provide the food for the reception after the services for my father. I was so moved by his kindness. On the day of the services in a packed church in South Phoenix, I saw Eddie, his sons, the president of Basha’s and many of the senior leadership walk into the church to pay their respects to my father, a man they never knew. That is an example of the compassion and support that has enabled me to be a Latina Still Standing.

That is the kind of man Mr. Eddie Basha was to me and to countless other people. I am honored to have known him and to have called him my friend. I am grateful that God sent me to work for Eddie and his family during one of the toughest times in my life, and I believe God used one of His special servants to lift me up while I was down.

When I heard of the news of Eddie’s passing, my heart was heavy and I felt a tremendous loss. I am grateful to have personally experienced Eddie’s generous spirit, his witty sense of humor and his compassion for people.

Thank you for extending your hand in my time of need. Descanse en paz, EB.

Diana Bejarano is an Arizona native and a graduate of Arizona State University’s Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication. Reach her at latinastillstanding@yahoo.com or latinastillstanding.blogspot.com

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Latinas y mid-life crisis – bring it on!

latinopm — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 18:00:47 +0000

By Diana Bejarano

Many of my Latina friends are in their early 40s, and there’s been a change from the topics we conversed about in prior decades to the ones we discuss now.

Topics include aging and changing our lives. Some talk about internal changes: belief systems that are no longer working, breaking old habits, exercise and nutrition, and managing stress better. Others talk more about changes they could make on the outside: facials, Botox and plastic surgery.

We all want to hold on to our youth. As Hispanics, we are fortunate to have great genes; many Latinas I know look five to ten years younger than their age. Still, they are still women on the quest to remain youthful.

Is this what is meant by a “mid-life crisis”? Now entering my fourth decade, I was curious about the phenomenon. According to several sources, some of the characteristics of a mid-life crisis (which usually occurs between the ages of 40 and 60) is that people often perceive their lives as in drastic decline. Some other common feelings are a sense of remorse for goals not accomplished or a sense that one’s goals remain undefined. Others translate their loss of youthfulness to feeling inferior to more successful colleagues.

I believe this period can be beneficial for Latinas who often make the best of any situation. It’s a time when we can re-evaluate our lives and make changes to shift our efforts to line up with new goals. Working on our insides is often harder than working on our outward appearance.

However, some Latinas I know are opting for cosmetic surgery at mid-life. One of them, named Lily, recently underwent a dramatic change and had a “Latina Miami Makeover™.” At 41 years old, Lily decided that she wanted to change a few things about her body that nature had altered after having borne three children.

She said the surgery gave her a boost in confidence and helped her tremendously in her business interactions as a dance instructor and wedding/quinceañera planner. She was lucky, she says, to have found a board-certified plastic surgeon that speaks fluent Spanish and understands the culture. Many of the other surgeons she researched didn’t have the kind of certifications she felt comfortable with.

Lily cautions women who are thinking about plastic surgery to make sure that they feel comfortable with the rapport they have with their surgeon. “Before” and “after” photos can give you some indication of a surgeon’s ability, but they cannot guarantee the result you will achieve.

The American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery suggests that you look into the surgeon’s credentials and experience. Ask for referrals from friends, and find out where the surgery will be performed. Another resource is the American Society of Plastic Surgeons; to find a member surgeon, visit ASPS.org.

Each Latina’s mid-life experience is different and, though I have never undergone any type of plastic surgery, I realize that in some cases it can make a huge difference in a person’s life.

Sometimes change can be subtle and come from within; other times it comes in the form of a total body makeover.

As a Latina, I support other Latinas who choose to make changes in their lives on the inside or on the outside.

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Aiming high

latinopm — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 00:56:52 +0000

By Diana Bejarano

Photo courtesy of Girl Scouts of the USA

She is an award-winning community leader and she has served as deputy chief-of-staff for urban relations and community development under former Governor of Arizona and current U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano, and she is now the chief executive officer of Girl Scouts of the USA, one of the largest and most prestigious non-profits in the country.

But, before accomplishing all of this, she was a young Latina born to migrant farm workers in the small town of Eloy, Arizona, and she was a Girl Scout.

At the age of 10, Anna Maria Chavez joined a local Girl Scout troop, and her world has never been the same. She was able to join a sisterhood and travel to camps and learn about things she had never heard about, such as protecting the environment.

“The Girl Scouts inspired me,” says Chavez, “I discovered I wanted to be an attorney because they help to protect the environment and people’s civil rights.”

At a very young age, Anna’s parents instilled in her a strong work ethic and the belief that one should be a good person who gives back to the community. The Girl Scouts built upon that foundation and continued to reinforce those values.

Anna set her goals high and, after graduating high school, she attended Yale University where she received her bachelor’s degree in American History and then went on to graduate from the James E. Rogers College of Law at the University of Arizona.

“We weren’t a wealthy family, but we were always giving back to the community. And we believed that, as long as you give more than you take, things would always work out in the end,” she said.

On March 12, the Girl Scouts will celebrate their 101^st anniversary of helping so many women, including leaders, such as Condoleeza Rice, former U.S. Secretary of State, Sonia Sotomayor, Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, and former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

“We need to work harder to ensure that we are reaching all girls, including Latinas,” she said. In the last decade, the Girl Scouts have increased Latina membership by 55 percent, according to Chavez. She says the Girl Scout organization is very focused on developing culturally relevant outreach methods to work more closely with the Latina community.

There are 3.2 million Girl Scouts in every zip code in the United States, including Arizona, and there are Girl Scouts living in more than 90 countries around the globe. There are also 59 million Girl Scout alumnae and, Chavez says, there are data that clearly show a correlation between being a Girl Scout alumna and higher earning power, greater level of civic engagement and greater satisfaction with life than non-Girl Scouts.

To learn about volunteering, visit girlscoutsaz.org/become-a-volunteer.

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The power of friendship

latinopm — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 22:38:25 +0000

By Diana Bejarano

I often write about the Latina Still Standing motto of relying on faith, family and friends to help us overcome life’s obstacles.

The dictionary defines “friend” as a person with whom you share a bond of mutual affection. To me, it’s also someone you can celebrate with, cry with, confide in and count on when times get tough. I have always found relationships and friendships to be a very important ingredient to my success. Studies show that an active social life with good friends is essential to happiness and healthy living.

Our circle of friends/amigas, often including our tias, comadres and hermanas, is very strong in Hispanic culture and extremely vital to our happiness and success. We rely on our friends to help with major life decisions; we provide and obtain advice from each other on a regular basis. But, as in any genuine relationship, trials sometimes surface; but a true friendship can stand the test of time through loyalty, love and forgiveness.

I am grateful to have had several friends in my life for decades and, even though we don’t see each other daily, our friendship remains intact. When you are in someone’s life that long, you are bound to experience the highs and the lows of each other’s lives. You build a friendship through life’s celebrations, such as graduations, weddings and births, and also the painful times, such as break-ups, divorces, sickness and loss. A long-term friendship is almost like a marriage – until death do you part.

Of all the people I am blessed to call my friends, there are four that I have been close to since childhood. I have watched each of them grow into beautiful Latina women – marry, have children, even grandchildren. We have counseled each other, laughed and cried with each other, and even argued with each other from time to time. It’s amazing how our closeness has stood the test of time. When someone knows the depths of your soul and still accepts you with all of your flaws, then you have found yourself a “true” friend. I am blessed to have found a few “true” friends.

Recently my closest friend since childhood went to have a check-up for a minor medical issue and found out she was facing something more serious. The agony of learning that someone you love and talk to every day may have a life-threatening illness was extremely hard. Thankfully, she is one of the toughest Latinas I know and she held her head high and said to me, “I’m going to beat this and I’m going to be OK; you will see.” And she was right! By the grace of God, she is doing excellently.

Friendship is a tremendous asset and should never be taken for granted. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” It’s an honor to be a friend and cherish each moment I spend with my amigas.

¡Viva la Amistad!

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No-tears resolutions

latinopm — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 21:36:30 +0000

By Diana Bejarano

The beginning of a new year gives us a chance to refocus our lives. We can begin to think and act differently. We can break old habits and start new ones. We have a brand new year to better ourselves and change our lives.

Every January, the majority of people start setting their annual fitness goals, financial goals and health goals. And, while all of those are worthy goals, I am going to propose incorporating five fun and easy goals that can make your life better in 2013. My list of “New Year’s resolutions” doesn’t even mention the gym, finances or diets. The items I am proposing might sound like fun and games but, in fact, each one has been proven to be very beneficial for the mind, body and soul. And I believe they can make a real difference, if we choose to do them.

Here are five easy New Year’s resolutions we can all incorporate into our lives in 2013:

Imagine more. Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand. Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” Let’s start imagining great things for ourselves. As adults we tend to use our imaginations less than we did when we were children. The ability to imagine is one of our greatest assets. Imagination can bring new ideas, help solve problems and release creativity. Carve out a few minutes every day to imagine and dream! It worked for Einstein.

Laugh more. Studies have shown that the average four-year-old laughs 300 times a day but a 40-year-old only laughs four times a day. It’s a proven fact that laughter relaxes the body, boosts the immune system, lowers stress hormones, releases endorphins, enhances resilience and can strengthen your heart by improving the function of blood vessels and increasing blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems. Start laughing!

Sleep more. The experts say there are many benefits to getting more sleep, including weight loss, improved quality of life and lower stress levels. Adequate sleep can also spur creativity and curb inflammation, which can lead to heart disease and other ailments. Sweet dreams!

Play more. Studies show that playing contributes to creative problem solving, better language skills and better math skills. Scientists believe that play can also improve memory and stimulate the growth of the cerebral cortex. The exercise benefits of physical play are also extremely beneficial to the body. Tag, you’re it!

Own your power. Realize that you hold the power to your own happiness. Only you have the power to create and live your dreams. No one else owns this – only you!

Make a promise to yourself to incorporate one or more of these five things into your daily routine each week for the 52 weeks in 2013. These are realistic goals that can have a tremendous impact on every area of your life. Stick to it and you will reap the benefits. A true Latina Still Standing perseveres and achieves success despite life’s difficulties.

¡Adelante, Latinas!

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Natural-born givers

latinopm — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:49:56 +0000

By Diana Bejarano

Latinas are natural-born givers. They give of their time, their talent and their treasure. They give to their children, spouses and significant others, as well as to their parents, to their extended families, to their employers and to many great causes.

It would be difficult to highlight just one Latina Still Standing who gives back, because I know so many who give immeasurably. I have grown up watching Latinas give of themselves; they have been great role models in many respects. My grandmothers, my mother and so many others have given selflessly. And, while I do believe that it is truly better to give than to receive, there is one person in a Latina’s life that is oftentimes left out of the giving equation. That is the Latina herself.

I know that, during this time of the year, many of us will go above and beyond to give to others. We want to give the best to our children, our families, our friends and to many great causes that are near and dear to our hearts. This holiday season while we are wrapped up in giving so much to so many, let’s not forget to give a gift to ourselves.

I know that “self” is not always top of mind, especially during the season of giving, but I would like to propose that, as Latinas, we learn to include ourselves as a recipient of our giving. Here are a few questions to ponder: How will you give to yourself? What will you give to your most important asset – YOU? How will you honor and be kind to yourself? How will you invest in your emotional well-being, your health, your body, your spirit and your soul? Have you added any gifts to this year’s list to help YOU de-stress this holiday season? If you have done this, kudos to you!

There are so many simple ways you can be kind to yourself. So many simple gifts that can benefit your mind, body and spirit. Rest is one of them. Many of us try to do too much for so many, especially during the busy fall and winter seasons. Some of us have to attend events, prepare Thanksgiving meals, host holiday parties, shop for our families, volunteer our time and do all of this while holding down at least one full-time job.

If we take a little time out for ourselves, we will reap the benefits of feeling more energized. It doesn’t have to be a complicated task. Perhaps it’s allowing the first couple of hours in the day to be your uninterrupted time to gather your thoughts, meditate, hike or go for a walk; perhaps it’s adding a much needed foot massage or spa day to your weekly calendar; or, maybe just simply picking a block of time to do absolutely nothing.

If we do not give back to ourselves, it could be detrimental. If we invest in comforting and nurturing ourselves a little more, we will avoid “burnout.” Merriam-Webster defines burnout as “exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation, usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration.”

Please consider taking time to nurture your own body and soul. Give yourself the gift of rest and relaxation once in a while. This will improve your ability to give and, so, benefit you and all of those you love.

Happy Holidays!

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“Faith, Family and Friends”

latinopm — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 22:33:14 +0000

By Diana Bejarano

Earlier this year, I set out with a goal to inspire and empower Latinas to never give up, no matter how hard life gets, and I created the Latina Still Standing brand, blog and column.

When I began writing my Latina Still Standing blog in March and the Latina Still Standing columns in May, I knew that I had a strong conviction to share more about what has made me and other Latinas so resilient.

I wanted to share my own stories and those of other Latinas about how they, too, have overcome tremendous obstacles. Along this journey, I have had the opportunity of hearing from hundreds of Latinas who say they can really relate to the Latina Still Standing motto of “Faith, Family and Friends.” Those are the three key ingredients that I credit with helping me overcome obstacles.

Through numerous e-mails, Facebook interactions and one-on-one conversations at a recent Empowering Women’s Expo, I had the opportunity to meet and speak with numerous Latina women who are still standing. Each one shared a little bit about their trials and tribulations, and how they can relate to the spirit of the Latina Still Standing brand.

Some of the women shared how they are proudly still standing after walking away from abusive relationships. Others told how, as single moms, they are still standing because of their strong faith, family support and good friends. I listened to stories about loss and how the blogs and the columns inspire them to keep standing. One Latina said she had lost her husband, a doctor, in a plane crash, while flying to Mexico to donate his medical services, and how she wrote the words, “I am a Latina Still Standing,” at the top of her notes to help her get through delivering the eulogy. I even heard from younger Latinas who consider themselves to be “Latinas Still Standing” because they survived being bullied at their high schools, in person and online.

I’m very excited about the mission of Latina Still Standing and it brings me great joy to celebrate and inspire women, especially Latinas. I have seen their excitement and felt their enthusiasm, most recently when I began distributing the “Latina Still Standing” T-shirts. It gives me great pride to know that other Latinas believe in encouraging and supporting one another. It brings me great happiness to know they are proud to be a part of Latinas Still Standing and proud to wear the Latina Still Standing brand.

Thank you to those who support this cause and a special “thank you” to those Latinas who are Still Standing. You continue to inspire me and together we can inspire each other!

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Never underestimate a mother’s intuition

latinopm — Tue, 02 Oct 2012 20:30:39 +0000

By Diana Bejarano

Mothers are usually very protective of their children, but there is something about a Latina mother protecting her niños y niñas.

That is what Jennie Flores did when her little girl, Kailah, who was just 7 years old at the time, was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia (AML), one of the most aggressive forms of leukemia.

It started with very vague symptoms, like Kailah losing weight. Jennie thought, “Maybe it’s because she’s getting taller.” Then, she noticed her daughter was sleeping a little more than usual; but, again, she dismissed it. She also started noticing bruises on Kailah’s body about a month before the diagnosis.

Then the bruises began appearing more frequently and Kailah started having stomach aches. Then, one day, she saw a bigger bruise on Kailah’s back near her spine.

That’s when her mother’s intuition kicked in and told her something wasn’t right. She called her husband at work and said, “Come home now; I think something is really wrong with Kailah.” Leukemia came to Jennie’s mind. A year earlier, she had read the book and seen the movie, My Sister’s Keeper, about a little girl who had the illness.

“I think Kailah could have leukemia,” she blurted out. She recognized the symptoms. Like any father would, he became highly upset, “No! My daughter doesn’t have leukemia.”

They agreed that Jennie would take their daughter to the doctor, but, when she got to the doctor’s office, something told her to take Kailah to the ER instead.

She drove away and went straight to Phoenix Children’s Hospital. Two hours later, the Flores were told their daughter had leukemia. Not the more treatable childhood leukemia, but the more aggressive form, acute myeloid leukemia.

Kailah coped with the side-effects of five rounds of intense chemotherapy; she took it all in stride. To help her feel better, some of her cousins cut their hair short and donated it to Locks of Love. Her father shaved his head completely.

Jennie considers herself blessed. She was born to a great strong family and to a father who had to overcome a lot of obstacles in his life; it was his model of strength that helped her get through this difficult time.

Jennie fought against not listening to her gut and she fought for her daughter’s life. And with the help of her faith, family and friends, her daughter is alive and cancer-free! Kailah has been in remission since March, 2011. Now Jennie and her daughter spend a lot of their time volunteering, educating and advocating for this cause.

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Surviving the loss of a child – twice

latinopm — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 05:39:20 +0000

By Diana Bejarano

They say a parent’s worst nightmare is losing a child. This Latina had to endure that nightmare times two.

In 1994-1995, Amelia “Molly” Sordia Buchanan, my aunt by marriage, had to bury not one, but two, of her children – and, yet, she is still standing.

Her strength is immeasurable. It’s something that is difficult to describe in words. I will attempt to share a glimpse of her story here. Even though it’s been more than 15 years since she lost her two sons, it’s still excruciatingly painful for her to discuss, as you can imagine.

Her oldest son, Rudy Jr., born in 1972, would have celebrated his 40th birthday this month. Her second son, Christopher, born in 1976, would have turned 36 years old this past July.

Chris was just 18 years old and a senior at South Mountain High School when he was shot and killed in a drive-by shooting in South Phoenix in October, 1994. He had dreams of enlisting in the United States Army.

Just three months after laying Chris’ body to rest, on Super Bowl Sunday, January 29, 1995, his brother, Rudy Jr., was shot and killed. Still completely devastated by the loss of his baby brother, Rudy Jr. left that night for his girlfriend’s house and that was the last time anyone in the family saw him alive.

Then reality set in for Molly – her two sons, her baby boys – had been murdered and were never coming home again. How could this be? She felt pure devastation, sadness, grief, anger and unbearable pain. Yet, she is still standing.

A few years before Molly’s sons were unexpectedly taken from her, she found out she was expecting a child, at 40 years of age. This came as a surprise to her. In January, 1990, she gave birth to Briana. Who knew that five years later she would lose her two sons?

This young child brought new life into the home. Like any other five year old, she wanted to dress up for Halloween, have birthday parties and a Christmas tree with presents underneath. This little one, along with her beautiful, over-achieving sister, Jennifer, just a teenager at the time, kept Molly moving forward one day at a time. Her two daughters gave her the will to keep living, even when she felt like giving up.

Molly credits her strong faith for giving her hope that one day she will be reunited with her sons in eternity. Her network of family and friends also helped her tremendously. But I believe her daughters, grandchildren and husband have played the biggest roles in providing her with the will to go on.

She truly is: A Latina Still Standing.

Diana Bejarano’s professional background includes more than 15 years of marketing and communication experience. She was named in “40 under 40” by the Phoenix Business Journal (2005) and the Arizona Hispanic Chamber of Commerce (2007). She is also a Hispanic Leadership Institute graduate (2007). She is an Arizona native and a graduate of Arizona State University’s Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication. Reach her at latinastillstanding@yahoo.com or latinastillstanding.blogspot.com

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Cancer picked the wrong diva

LPM Staff — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 22:04:59 +0000

For six months, she woke up every day and rallied the strength to get through chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Then, she went to work as a DJ, “The Mid-Day Diva,” on local radio station Mega 104.3. Most of her loyal listeners didn’t know that she was undergoing cancer treatments; she continued to keep them singing and dancing all day to the old school tunes like those of Earth, Wind and Fire, Michael Jackson and Carlos Santana.

One day a week, Angie Gomez would undergo a five-hour chemotherapy session and, then, every day for a month, she had to attend radiation sessions. She did all of this while still being on the air and performing four or five nights per week with the local Latino R&B band, Power Drive.

This is what Angie Gomez’ life was like after being diagnosed with stage 2 Hodgkin’s lymphoma three days before Christmas in December of 2009. All of a sudden she was under attack and found herself in the middle of the greatest battle of her life, fighting against cancer.

As if that weren’t enough to deal with, she and her boyfriend of four years ended their relationship in the midst of her first round of chemotherapy treatments. She was tired. She was hurt. She was scared. But, at least she had her mother to lean on; her rock, she said. Her strong mother helped her through; her mother went to every chemotherapy and radiation session with Angie. She said her mom had always taught her to be a fighter and a strong woman. She held on to the idea that, with her mother’s strength and God on her side, she should be able to get through anything. I saw this Latina Still Standing fight this monster with grace and dignity and a strong resolve. The following year, Angie lost her grandmother, with whom she had a close bond. This past March, she unexpectedly lost her mother, her rock.

Angie beat cancer. She didn’t let it beat her down and she has now been in remission for two years. She continues to pursue her life-long dream of entertaining and inspiring people in the Valley of the Sun and in her hometown of Superior, Arizona.

She is now working on writing and recording her own music, as well as creating a personal line of jewelry, both to be released in the near future. In her quest to further inspire and motivate other women, Angie will be holding her first annual Free Women’s Expo conference on September 8 at the Wild Horse Pass Hotel and Casino. The conference will include several motivational speakers, Zumba^® demonstrations, several vendors and a fashion show. She is hoping to continue to motivate and empower other women to keep standing! (I will share more details as they become available.)

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